Beauty News and Garnier Clean+ Twitter Party!

Hi lovers and friends. I have a secret beauty/fashion blog that is happening. I can’t wait to launch it….  It is about two weeks from LAUNCH! EEK!

In the meantime, let’s party!

I’ll be hosting #SpringSkinChat with Garnier.

Make sure you join us. 10 lucky friends will win Garnier Clean+ Skin Care Prize Packs and Visa Gift cards!

 

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Don’t Fall In Love With Jerks

My therapist was asking me, the other day, what new rules I am creating for myself in light of where my life is at. I had one answer for her that came immediately. “Don’t fall in love with jerks.” She laughed and followed up by inquiring why someone would fall in love with a jerk in the first place.

Fancy question lady. I don’t pay you to ask me questions. I pay you to give me answers.

Of course that isn’t true, most therapists are masters of asking good questions.

Her question begged a question. What is it in us that makes us move toward unhealthy/abusive relationship dynamics- why would someone fall in love with a jerk in the first place? Don’t we delight in “good” love for ourselves?

I think our families teach us a lot about how we deserve love and validation. We find ourselves repeating patterns of expectations that aren’t functional. We fall in love with jerks. So we have to unlearn original expectations and be brave enough to dare to pursue better.

Easier said than done, right?

We never see the person is really a jerk until AFTER, right?! Do we blind ourselves to see what we want? Is there some kind of jerk detector skills we need to develop?

 

The Powersong

I’ve been running a lot lately to try and deal with the things that weigh on my heart.

I use Nike+ Run app. I like it when it isn’t being janky.

My favorite feature is the “powersong” button. Here is my power song lately. I INSTANTLY sprint when it comes on. Aftermath, y’all.

 

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I love me some Adam Lambert

 

Haikus About Life and the Heart

What if someone stared you in the face and told you that you were settling for a life less than what you deserve.

What if the person you thought you should love isn’t equipped to love you?

Honestly? Most of us wouldn’t do much about it. We are too paralyzed by fear of scarcity. We are too hemmed in by tradition to say “this marriage doesn’t work” and walk away. I know someone who did… and I think she is one of the bravest fuckin’ women I know. Forever and ever amen.

We are constantly trying to make logical decisions when the decisions we should make are the decisions of the heart. Our hearts matter, though we rarely admit it.  So many of us need to grieve and then recover. Our minds aren’t broken, our hearts are.

Do you try and think logically through decisions that should involve the heart. Don’t do that. It is the wrong tool to use… or so they say. I think we should trust our hearts.

 

 

Updated.

I wrote for the first time in a long time the other night. A visit with a friend prompted some creativity and I found myself filling pages of my journal. I sat at 28 Springs writing and writing and writing.  I guess synergy between people can create that kind of creative rush.

It was magnificent.

And now I am blogging. Which is like writing, I guess… whatever.

Life has been crazy, y’all. CRAZY! But. Life has also been beautiful. Healing, even.

I don’t have much to say right now, other than I am here. I hope you’ll continue to stick around until I can say so much more.

 

Transformation Comes In Single Moments

I used to wonder what people thought about me a lot. It took up a large part of my day, actually. My mind would be filled with all of the anxious scenarios and I would ruminate on my value as it pertained to the scenarios. It really wasn’t a pleasant way to live. It took a long time to move beyond this habit. I still struggle on occasion, truth be told, but thankfully I have the love and support of so many strong people to remind me who I am.

I hope you have that too.

I took charge of 2014 before it even arrived. In 2013 I spent a large amount of time in therapy, working hard to bring light to the darker parts of my life, fell in love with Roller derby, proudly supported my body, and showed myself I was powerful beyond my belief. I said goodbye to a beloved friend too soon, and goodbye to my marriage. That last one still stings and is still something I deeply do not want. Adulthood is about hard choices, though.

Transformation comes in single moments. Some of those moments we think are the most mundane and pointless moments, but in retrospect are so full of power and potential we wonder how we never saw them. Maybe, if you were like me, you were too worried about what people were thinking to recognize that moment of transformation. Let us not do that this year. Lets stare hard on at our reflections and be okay with what we see.

I am also joining Viva La Feminista in 365 days of selfies.  You can find me on instagram  and follow along to see what kind of transformation I might happen upon during this experiment.

 

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Remember someone has it worse than you… OMG SPIDER!!!!!

I am a kind person. So kind that when life gets hard I like to point out to myself why life sucks for other people… so I feel less awful. I bring up Tom Ford a lot to myself these days. I say things like: “Well at least I didn’t smoke crack” or whatever. Sometimes it works and makes me laugh. Other times I can’t break through the sadness and I have a little “WOE THE FUCK IS ME” moment. Those are necessary too.

But listen.

I found something that will surely work every.damn.time.

This!

IT IS NOT SNOW!!!!! IT IS NOT SNOOOOOOOOW

Sleep well tonight friends.

 

::::::::::Shiver::::::::::::

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