Stories of Surrender: No More Foreclosure


It is amazing what happens when you let go of attached meaning and expectations and just surrender. I hate surrendering. It doesn’t feel good to me. I’d like to imagine it as standing atop a high cliff and blissfully falling backward into a blue-green ocean. The water envelops my body as I drift deeper and deeper. Unfortunately it looks more like trying to drag a cat into water. My eyes are bloodshot and bewildered as I dig my claws deep into the carpet and flatten my body out. Surrender? No! You will have to pry my claws out of the carpet and drag my howling ass to the water. I do not surrender. I am that wet and humiliated looking cat who fought so hard and still got the bath anyway.

But when I wrote this post about letting goof the life I thought I had, I was realizing that I can’t control everything. I mean, I KNOW that I can’t control everything. I KNOW that truth intellectually, but not emotionally. I still drive myself to the point of panic trying to micro-manage a life that has way too many external circumstances to control. This is a result of being raised in chaos. This is a result of fear. Fear based living slowly buries our joy and keeps us isolated from community.

Last week we made the final payment on our modification. We received a letter from our loan officer letting us know that our lender has prepared a new contract for us. We have pulled our home back from foreclosure. Our home will not be taken from us. We let go, did what we could, and surrendered expectations… and as it turns out that was exactly what we needed to come out on the other side the way we wanted to. I know this doesn’t happen the same way for everyone, but I am thankful it happened this way for us.

Thanks 2013! You already suck less.


    • Yes! We are very excited. We will live a few more months then rent it out or put it on the market. SUCH a relief.

  1. Congrats! I helped one of my employees secure a modification and it was a long, drawn-out process, but it came through and he managed to keep his house. It isn’t a fun process, but he’s no longer in foreclosure and even has built up a savings!

    • How cool! Yes. It is a loooong process. We were dealing with addiction and layoffs and the threw us into foreclosure.

      • My employee was dealing with having to be the primary bill payer, as his wife had a stroke and needed to be placed in a nursing home. He’d never had to pay the bills. I don’t even think he’d ever cashed his own check.

        Nobody is exempt from hard times, which is why I consider the Making Home Affordable Act to be one of Obama’s greatest achievements.

          • Hey it was positive to your side! It actually wasn’t meant to be political. I just thought it was a great program and that the person responsible deserved credit. I actually find myself disgusted with partisan politics lately. :)

  2. I have been through this process and understand the nervousness along hte way and the joy when things are done. I am very happy for yo.

  3. Congratulations! Knowing you have a place to live certainly does make things suck less. ;)

  4. Good for you! So happy for you. And by the way….

    “Fear based living slowly buries our joy and keeps us isolated from community.”

    ….is the reason I blog the way I do.

  5. Congrats chica! Sometimes letting go has surprising results! So feeling you on being that cat with its claws in the carpet… I can’t swim either…oh helllll no lol Glad it worked out for you! <3

  6. Hooray! Great news. And a timely lesson as I need to hear more about surrender right now, entering my daughter into the public school lottery. I like control. And spreadsheets. I don’t do we’ll with surrender. But I will think of you. And work on it.

    Congratulations on your hard work.

  7. This is a story of hope and faith…and then things actually work out??? YES!!!! We need so much more of this in the world. Thank you so much for sharing it.

    • You are welcome Brandi. It carries a stigma so it is hard to write about.

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