Friendship Is My Drug

I got really awful news at my appointment with my primary care physician the other day and I was overwhelmed. He sat me down with a serious face and talked to me about this journey, this struggle, I’ve been on since I was 12. He delivered the news with kindness and respect, with honesty and information… all the things I need to feel secure. He knows that about me, he’s been treating me since 2004. I arrived home feeling very powerless. I don’t feel comfortable to share about the news. I eventually will- just not right now. What I can say is that when you have days like I had, the power of friendship makes a total difference. I posted a private post on my Facebook status explaining what was going on to me to my closest friends. Two minutes after I made the post my phone began to ring. Heidi called me. She listened to me, she encouraged me, she talked sense into me. She validated, in me, the power that I own that had been shrouded by news that left me feeling powerless. She made jokes and reminded me of what I care about most. What I stand for most.

I came home to Twitter messages from Betony. She simply showered me with love. No advice or teaching or stratigizing, just simple reminders that she loves me deeply and without condition. I received texts from Sadie. Her first words were, “What do you need from me, how can I help?”Without a single shred of detail, she was at the ready to stand next to me however I needed her. I got a slew of lovely notes from several other friends. I chatted with Liz, and she soothed my battered soul in her quintessential, “chin the fuck up” way that only she can do. The power of good steady friends is an amazing power. It undergirds me and inspires me to be my best self. These friends keep me authentic, accountable, and bust my chops when I need it.

Bad days, bad news, bad things… they all happen- and when they do and you can’t face the heaviness alone, friends make the difference.

Thank you, to my tribe of women. I love you so hard. I wish I had more to give than blog posts and sarcastically ill-timed jokes, you deserve so much. If I had money I’d buy you all the things you love:

I’d buy Sadie slippers, a new car, and  simple syrups to make fizzy water.

I’d buy Betony steampunk jewelry, goats, and sassy shoes.

I’d buy Heidi a goddamn vacation and a life time supply of massages because GAH! you work so hard!

I’d buy Liz a house, Diet Cokes, a personal assistant, and counseling so she stops verbally abusing people ;)

Thank you for being REAL friends. You are my heartsong, bitches.

 Thank you. - We'll be best friends forever because you already know too much.


  1. {{{((<3)))}}} I agree. The tribe has buoyed me through so many storms.

  2. You’ll get through this and come out better for it on the other side. Plus, chin up and out works when taking pictures. I really do need an assistant, mainly so I can verbally abuse them.

  3. I’m not as cool, witty, or close as everyone else, but I stalk you from afar and want you to know that all I can offer is to be messed up with you. But I listen really well. And my phone is always open to a call from you. Love you lady. = )

  4. I’m sorry to hear you got bad news at the doctor. I’m glade you have people you can count on to get you through it. I will be praying for you.

  5. I would LOVE a vacation dammit. :) and I love you- thanks for being real and awesome for me in my hard times.

  6. Friends can pull you through anything can’t they; they know exactly what to say to pull you out of whatever funk has you down and their ready to kick someone’s behind in a second, the die and ride chicks. Prayers for you in getting through this time; it is temporary (I hope) :)

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