Waking Up In Vegas…er, I Mean Branson.

Who gets to decide when you are ready to move on? Here is a hint: you do. Fine. That wasn’t a hint, it was an emphatic statement; something that I am really good at making.

June of this year I celebrated my ninth wedding anniversary in Branson, Missouri. Branson, for those who don’t know, is the Las Vegas of Missouri. What happens in Branson stays in Branson, maybe. That is to say there are a lot of replicas of things, people trying to get you to sign up for a timeshare, and buffets. Branson is not the real thing. It has the flashy lights and some entertainment, but it will never be Las Vegas. The thing about Branson is that you’ll spend just as much money there, too. All that “aren’t we fancy and having fun” comes with that Vegas price tag. You pay so much for something that is still counterfeit.

My soon-to-be ex-husband and I pulled into our cabin for the weekend and promptly got into an argument. A shared friend of ours did something really awful to me right before I graduated from my Master’s program. They violated my trust in a big way. I was unpacking and trying to express to my husband why I was hurt. My husband, laid out on the bed, stared at me unblinkingly and struggled to access any empathy. The argument was over if he would stay friends with the person who lied to my face and risked my educational career.

This was a thing we did. I would feel hurt or betrayed about something and would spend hours attempting to help him see why I was hurt. He could hardly ever see, even when it was obvious to everyone else. Over our nine years we’d sifted through addiction, mental health issues, family drama, death, and affairs. We’d done nine years of really hard work. When I say “we” I mostly mean “I” did nine years of really hard work. We’d still not arrived at, what I thought, was the real thing. How ironic that we were celebrating our union in faux-Vegas! We went to a spa and zip-lined. We ate at fun restaurants and had mediocre sex. The best part of the whole anniversary was when some friends decided to join us. It was a reprieve from the constant work of giving him all the attention he needed that often left me emotionally exhausted.

It would be a few weeks later that I requested we separate and start the work of divorcing. I’ve never wanted to visit Vegas, let alone faux-Vegas, and I was too tired to do anymore pretending to have fun. It was costing me too much.

Renew Your Faith In Humanity: Pawsitive Impact Kids Award

If you ever find yourself disenchanted with the world and certain we are headed toward disaster and utter destruction, I suggest getting to know a kid who is passionate about animals. You know the one, right? These kids are the kids who want to rescue and care for all the tiny creatures. They’ve never met an animal they don’t love. That kid who tears up at the thought of a kitten spending the night on the street alone? OKAY FINE. I am talking about ME. I tear up about kittens.

My point is, though, that the surest way to renew your hope in humanity is to see young people who are passionate about the wellbeing of creatures that can often be mistreated in our societies.

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I am working with CrayonsandCollars.com to bring some attention to well deserving kids. We are seeking nominations for the inaugural Pawsitive Impact Kids Awards!

These awards are designed to recognize and celebrate kids who do special things to help animals in their own homes, their communities or even across the world. From saving money to buy a wheelchair for their family dog, to reading books to cats in shelters, to helping raise awareness for cheetah conservation, there are so many ways kids help animals. We want to support and reward their hard work!

There will be four total winners in the U.S.

  •  one in grades K-3
  • one in grades 4-6
  • one in grades 7-9
  • and one in grades 10-12.

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Each winner (U.S. residents only, sorry!) will receive a 5,000-meal donation of Halo Spot’s Stew to the shelter or rescue of the winner’s choice, courtesy of Halo, Purely for Pets and Freekibble.com.

Winners will also receive some goodies for their own pets: a $100 gift certificate to Petco and a prize pack of great pet products (winner may choose cat or dog focused) from Planet Dog, Worldwise, Solvit PetsGroom Genie, and Nupath Supplements and will be featured on our web site.

Learn more about the program on the Crayons and Collars awards page.


It’s easy to nominate someone (or yourself if you’re a kid!) Simply fill out this form by October 7, 2015 at 5 p.m. and winners will be notified by October 12, 2015.

Now stop crying about kittens!


Black couRAGE

#BlackCourageWanting Black people to succeed while not wanting to them to access their rage is not wanting Black people to succeed.  Black Rage is a form of Black courage and it is revolutionary. It takes rage and a refusal to continue to be subjugated for people to make change. It is time to get mad.

“We’ve been here before.

We remember the bloody streets of Selma, Alabama. We remember the 1965 Watts Rebellion. We remember burning crosses and strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.

Our history is our present. From Ferguson to Baltimore, Los Angeles to Cleveland, Mississippi to South Carolina, if we have learned anything, it is this: There exists in this country those who fear us and those who hate us—who will gladly kill us and our children without a moment’s notice. And they are emboldened by a racist judicial system that will tell them they’re justified.

BLACK couRAGE is revolutionary in the face of systemic anti-Black racism. Embrace it. Nurture it.

“We don’t need no water.” Let it burn.”

Like the Black couRage Facebook Page


Purchase your tee! 

I Wasn’t That Into You Anyway…

I’ve been applying to grown up jobs that do not suck. I’ve been a contractor/freelance writer/small business owner for several years. Since I am divorcing and I can’t just live off of love or whatever the hippies say, I need a job with structure. I can’t spend time as a single mom hoping and wishing and praying my contract clients will send their payments on time. I’m still waiting, a year later, for one payment (LOOKING AT YOU SHAPE MAGAZINE).  I’ll have enough stress going at this alone, so I need consistently dependable income.

Because I’ve been sending out resumes, having meetings with recruiters, and applying places a lot, I’ve also had a lot of rejection letters and emails. I opened one letter letting me know another candidate was a better fit, and I guffawed. The letter was SO poorly written that it made me want to respond letting them know they can hire me and my only job can be writing their rejection letters. It was so bad, friends, so so bad. Which made me think: WHAT if we DID respond to really bad rejection letters? But what if we responded the way skeevy guys respond when they hit on you and you reject them?

Like, you get an email saying that your qualifications didn’t match.


We regret to inform you that we have selected another candidate.


I’m not going to do it… I was just thinking about it. Do you have any rejection stories? Share them in the comments.